The Dangers of AI (Artificial Intimacy) in Relationships
Today, we’re talking about a different kind of AI: not artificial intelligence but “artificial intimacy.” Why do some people settle for inauthentic, shallow relationships instead of real ones? Drawing parallels between the impact of inauthenticity in relationships and the lack of uniqueness in AI-generated articles, I explained the irreplaceable value of genuine human connection.
Some people choose not to embrace authenticity in their relationships because they fear rejection. But to have real, intimate relationships, it is critical to show up as your true self. As a matter of fact, the importance of courage in vulnerability and genuine connection was a prominent theme throughout this episode. I debunked the notion that artificial intimacy can ever substitute for the real, deep connections we all yearn for.
Conflict Can Lead to Deeper Connection
Artificial intimacy stands in stark contrast to genuine intimacy. It breeds disconnection, which is the root of many marriage and relationship problems. I challenged our listeners to question why people settle for artificial relationships. For some, they just seem easier to maintain. To others, getting too deep can be scary. But real intimacy requires that we summon the courage and commitment required to build connected relationships.
A key point that I emphasized was the significance of self-reflection and honesty within relationships. If you can’t be honest with yourself, you’ll never be honest with others. Conflict is not something to avoid in a committed relationship. In fact, it can help lead to deeper connection if handled properly. Of course, this does not mean abuse or toxicity. Healthy relationships should experience conflict devoid of toxicity or abuse.
Performance-Based Relationships Lead to Shallow Relationships
I am a high-achieving Enneagram three, which means I can easily slip into unhealthy patterns of deriving my self-worth from performance and achievement. Measuring your relationships by your performance is not good. You are more than what you “bring to the table.” Your relationship contributions are important, but they should not determine your worth and value.
Our episode also offered valuable dating advice, emphasizing the need to evaluate someone’s character over their contribution to a relationship. Yes, contribution matters (every part of an organism, organization, or relationship should contribute tin a healthy manner), but judging your partner based on what he/she contributes can lead to a shallow relationship.
Brene Brown called artificial intimacy “counterfeit connections.” I love this language. Artificially intimate relationships can lead to loneliness, depression, and feelings of worthlessness. This is why we must be on guard against any and everything that threatens genuine, authentic connection. Life is too short to settle for artificial intimacy in relationships.
4 Keys to Create Authentic Relationships:
- Be intentional – Good relationships do not happen organically. They take effort.
- Be authentic – Be you, all the time. Allow your spouse or partner to get to know the real you, not the one you pretend to be.
- Be courageous – Vulnerability requires courage. If you are going to enjoy a deeply connected relationship, it will not happen without choosing to face your fears.
- Be creative – Inject creativity into long-standing relationships to prevent stagnation and foster genuine, meaningful connections. This may mean switching up your routine, date nights, and even sexual intimacy.
In closing, I left our listeners with this affirmation: “I am creating a relationship that doesn’t just look good, but one that is good,”
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