Connection Check: A Quiz to Evaluate How Present You Are in Your Relationship

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  How often do you find yourself distracted during conversations with your spouse?

  • A.
    Almost never
  • B.
    Occasionally
  • C.
    Often
  • D.
    Almost always
• 2.
  How often do you interrupt your spouse when he/she is speaking?

  • A.
    Almost never
  • B.
    Not very often
  • C.
    When I disagree with him/her
  • D.
    Almost always, but I mean well
• 3.
  Do you tend to prioritize your phone or computer over engaging with your spouse? 

  • A.
    Yes. My spouse can be boring or disconnected himself/herself
  • B.
    No. I always prioritize my spouse
  • C.
    Sometimes. It depends on the situation
• 4.
  How often do you find yourself lost in thought or worrying about other things during intimate moments with your spouse? 

  • A.
    I always give my spouse my undivided attention.
  • B.
    I occasionally allow my mind to wander.
  • C.
    Okay, you got me. I find myself doing this a lot.
  • D.
    I almost always think of something else when being intimate my spouse.
• 5.
  How often do you take a break from daily routines to spend quality time with your spouse without discussing work, or other stressors? 

  • A.
    Almost never
  • B.
    Rarely
  • C.
    A few times a week
  • D.
    Once a day or more
• 6.
  When your spouse is upset, do you take the time to fully listen and understand their perspective before responding? 

  • A.
    Ummm, not really
  • B.
    Yes, until they say something I disagree with
  • C.
    I make a genuine effort to do this more and more
  • D.
    I almost always do
• 7.
  How often do you actively engage in activities that your spouse enjoys? 

  • A.
    I really enjoy spending time with my spouse doing what he/she enjoys.
  • B.
    I will engage in activities my spouse enjoys a few times a week as long as its convenient.
  • C.
    My spouse and I have very different interests, so rarely do I engage in his/her activities
  • D.
    I practically never participate in activities my spouse enjoys.
• 8.
  How often do you express gratitude and appreciation for your spouse and your relationship? 

  • A.
    I aim to do this daily.
  • B.
    A few times a week
  • C.
    When I feel he/she deserves it
  • D.
    Appreciation isn’t really my thing
• 9.
  How often do you find yourself dwelling on past arguments or future worries instead of being fully present in the moment with your spouse? 

  • A.
    Past mistakes and future worries seem to be all I can think about.
  • B.
    More than I’d like to
  • C.
    Occasionally, but I quickly change my thoughts
  • D.
    What past arguments? Future worries, what?
• 10.
  How often do you make an effort to create new experiences with your spouse? 

  • A.
    Once a week or more
  • B.
    A few times a month
  • C.
    Rarely. We’re in a set routine.
  • D.
    Almost never. Our marriage has grown stale.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Awesomely Attentive

  Image Source

  An attentive partner is someone who is fully present and engaged in the relationship. You listen actively, pay attention to your spouse’s needs, and make an effort to understand their feelings. You are responsive, empathetic, and attuned to your partner's emotional state. As an attentive spouse, you are willing to put in the time and effort to build a strong connection and prioritize the needs of the relationship above your own individual desires. Because of your attentive commitment to your spouse, you have an excellent chance of continuing a loving, supportive, and fulfilling partnership. Stay the course and continue putting into practice these important qualities in your marriage.
• 2.
  Aptly Available  

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  An aptly available partner is someone who is present and engaged in the relationship to a certain extent. You make an effort to spend time with your spouse and participate in shared activities, but you may have other priorities that compete for your time and attention. While you are not always available, you make a genuine effort to prioritize your marriage when you can. As an aptly available spouse, you may have other commitments such as work, hobbies, or friendships that take up a significant portion of your time, but you also understand the importance of maintaining a healthy balance and making time for your relationship. Overall, you care about your relationship and make a sincere effort to be present and engaged, even if you are not always available 24/7.You’re not in the danger zone, but be cautious of allowing other priorities to creep in and divide your attention.
• 3.
  Apathetically Aloof

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  An aloof partner is someone who appears emotionally distant and disengaged from the relationship. You often seem uninterested in your partner's feelings or needs and may not prioritize spending time together. As an aloof partner, you may be withdrawn or avoidant, and may not communicate openly or honestly about your feelings or intentions. You may have difficulty showing affection or expressing vulnerability, and may prefer to keep your distance, even in intimate moments. Overall, an aloof partner can create a sense of emotional distance and disconnection in the relationship, which can leave your partner feeling neglected or unimportant. It's important for both partners to communicate openly and honestly about their needs and expectations in the relationship to build a deeper, more fulfilling connection.You are quickly approaching the land of disconnection, or you may already be there. Don’t despair. There is still hope for your marriage.
• 4.
  Absolutely Absent

  Image Source

  An absent partner describes a married person who may be physically present but emotionally unavailable. Emotional absence can also be a significant challenge for a relationship. This may be due to stress, resentment, an unhealed heart, mental health issues, or other factors that create a barrier to emotional intimacy. It almost always causes a breakdown in the relationship. Your emotional absence can cause emotional distress and feelings of loneliness, frustration, and isolation for your partner and will lead to challenges in maintaining a healthy relationship.The lack of communication and connection makes it difficult to stay committed, which you can probably attest to from the misunderstandings and disagreements you experience in your marriage. Additionally, if the emotional absence is prolonged, it can lead to a sense of emotional disconnection that may be difficult to repair.Your marriage is in trouble. Seek help now. It is not too late to fix your marriage, but the longer the disconnection gap grows, the more difficult and the more time it takes to try to bridge it.