How to Get Over an Argument Quickly (Young & Married Series)
If you’ve been married longer than 20 minutes, you’ve likely had an argument or two. The key for how to get over an argument quickly and resolve conflict isn’t avoiding it but approaching it with a new perspective. In today’s episode, I’m giving you five takeaways for conflict resolution that will help you get over your disagreements quickly. After employing these five tips, my hope is that you will approach conflict and even arguments with more clarity and calm and that you find yourself to a peaceful resolution much quicker.
Focus on the Issue at Hand
So often, we get off on tangents, and instead of resolving the original conflict, we actually create more conflict because we haven’t learned how to focus on the issue at hand. What is the conversation about? What is the need for bringing this conversation to light? Choose one thing and only one thing to talk about to keep the focus on the issue at hand.
Ask, don’t accuse
You can get over an argument quickly and win more arguments by asking rather than accusing. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. Don’t jump to conclusions, and by all means, don’t make rash accusations. I give a big coaching tip in this part of the podcast about making the “right” statements. When we accuse our spouse, we immediately put them on the defense, and down goes the conversation. Ask questions with genuine curiosity.
Have a resolution in mind
What’s your end goal? How will engaging in this conversation (or disagreement) help to better your relationship? One way to get over an argument quickly is by going into the conversation with a positive end in mind. Is this a conversation that needs to happen or can you jot down your frustrations in a journal? Seriously, what’s the point of the conversation and what will the resolution do for you?
Don’t let the conflict linger & get over an argument quickly
If you feel things getting out of hand and you need to take a break, take a break, but come back! Don’t allow the conflict to linger on and on with no real resolution. I also talk about forgiveness here and how forgiveness plays out without you saying a word. When we allow conflict to linger, it erodes respect, safety, and trust in our relationship. The Bible teaches us, “Do not let the sun go down on your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26). This means don’t let conflicts fester. Deal with whatever the problem is quickly.
Don’t hit below the belt.
I wish I didn’t have to explain this one, but oftentimes, in arguments, couples tend to say hurtful things that they can never get back. Be careful of your words, because contrary to popular thought, “Words do wound.”
You’ve got to listen to the full episode to get the full gist of today’s conversation. This might be one episode you want to bookmark to come back to later, and if your spouse is willing, listen to this episode with him/her! Remember that conflict does not destroy relationships; unresolved conflict does. So make a decision today to get over your arguments quickly to avoid conflict ruining your marriage.
Quotes mentioned in this episode: “Conflict cannot survive without your participation.
– Wayne Dyer
Links Mentioned in this Episode:
- Sign up for my Wives group coaching class
- Join the Real Relationship Talk / Christian Marriages & Relationships Facebook Community!
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