Rediscovering The Wonder of Marriage
As we start a new year, full of hope and fresh beginnings, many of us are setting goals and resolutions to improve our marriages. This time of renewal offers an opportunity to rediscover the wonder of marriage and what initially drew us to our spouses. In this episode, we’re uncovering four practical ways to cultivate wonder in marriage and overcome common barriers.
The Often Misunderstood Wonder of Marriage
Wonder, as defined, is a feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, often caused by something beautiful or unexpected. In marriage, wonder involves seeing your spouse and your relationship with a fresh perspective, rekindling amazement and curiosity in the everyday. It’s a process of rediscovering what may have become routine or familiar, and experiencing it anew. Just like the repeated marvel of witnessing a child’s birth, the wonder of marriage is about appreciating the familiar with a renewed sense of awe.
God’s design for marriage is all about purpose, a reflection of the profound love Christ has for His church. Yet, it’s easy for the enemy to twist this divine wonder into a mundane chore or burdensome obligation. The truth is, marriage can be wonderfully fulfilling, but it requires intentional effort.
4 Practical Steps to Rediscovering Wonder
Cultivating Gratitude
Gratitude serves as a gateway to wonder. When we focus on what’s true, lovely, and of good report, as encouraged in Philippians 4:8, we’re more likely to appreciate our spouse’s virtues. This mindset isn’t about ignoring life’s challenges but about choosing to focus on the positives. Practicing gratitude involves noticing and valuing the little, often overlooked, actions of love from your spouse. Think about the ordinary gestures your spouse does for you—do you recognize and appreciate them? Expressing thanks can do “wonders” for your marriage.
Rediscovering Your Spouse’s Story
Over time, we may assume we know our partners entirely. However, people change and grow. Taking the time to rediscover your spouse’s story fosters a deeper connection. Engage in meaningful conversations, ask questions about their current dreams or revelations, and explore their evolving thoughts and beliefs. This approach not only honors your spouse’s individuality but also keeps the relationship dynamic and exciting.
Prioritizing Fun and Adventure
Bringing back fun and adventure into marriage can reenergize the relationship. While life can get busy, setting aside time for spontaneous and enjoyable activities can break routine monotony. Whether it’s trying a new restaurant, going on a small adventure such as a local scavenger hunt, or simply enjoying a chocolate fondue at home, these shared experiences create lasting memories and strengthen your bond.
Seeking God Together
Spiritual intimacy is a powerful connector, even more so than emotional or physical intimacy. By engaging in spiritual practices like prayer and Bible study together, couples can deepen their connection and alignment with God’s purpose for their marriage. When you prioritize seeking God together, you nurture a love that transcends daily challenges and reflects divine principles.
Addressing Barriers to Wonder in Marriage
Barriers such as unresolved conflict, unforgiveness, or emotional exhaustion can stifle wonder. It’s crucial to confront these issues with courage and seek reconciliation where needed. Avoid falling into the trap of unmet expectations and past grievances by fostering open communication and practicing forgiveness. Additionally, if burnout is affecting your marriage, consider creating more margin in your life. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for maintaining a balanced and thriving relationship.
The Power of Perspective Shift
Rediscovering the wonder of marriage often requires a shift in perspective. Focusing on what’s going right instead of fixating on problems can transform your outlook. One couple, I coached recently, experienced a remarkable turnaround in their marriage simply by changing their perspective from what was wrong to what could be right. This mental pivot, accompanied by actionable steps, can significantly enhance the marital journey.
Conclusion: Embodying Wonder in Marriage
As you move into this new season, ask yourself: When was the last time I looked at my spouse with awe and wonder? If it’s been a while, consider the reasons. Rebuilding wonder in marriage is an ongoing journey requiring consistent effort, but the rewards are profound. As you apply these principles—gratitude, rediscovery, fun, adventure, and spiritual intimacy—you can transform your marriage into one marked by enduring wonder and joy.
Links Mentioned in this Episode:
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