My Husband Refuses to Pay the Bills in Our Marriage

Financial incompatibility is a serious issue in marriage and when not tended to can turn into financial abuse in marriage. We’re addressing a listener’s distressing experience of financial abuse within her marriage. Despite having a stable job and a good income, her husband refuses to pay household bills and indulges in personal expenditures. This has brought about financial strain and an emotional toll. Listen as we discuss the nature of financial abuse and what she can do to “fix” her situation.

Key Discussion Points:

• Understanding Financial Abuse: I elaborate on how financial abuse is a form of control, likened to physical, emotional, verbal, and other types of abuse. All types of abuse in marriage are harmful. When a husband refuses to pay bills in marriage (especially when he used to), it causes upheaval and emotional distress.
• Potential Solutions: Best and worst-case scenarios are discussed, including the importance of courageous conversations with her husband and engaging a financial planner or counselor for intervention. When seeking to find solutions about a husband who won’t pay bills, it’s a good idea to lean on a community or helpful experts to help guide the conversation.
• Practical Steps: I outline actionable steps for our listener to protect her financial assets if her husband doesn’t change. This wife will learn that she is not helpless in this situation, and even though her husband won’t pay bills, she can still protect her financial assets.
• Legal Advice: I stress the importance of understanding her legal rights in marriage and documenting all financial decisions she makes. Every state is different, so it’s important to understand the legal ramifications of separating finances in marriage and what laws apply to a spouse who is experiencing financial abuse.

Having a husband who won’t pay bills is frustrating but it doesn’t have to be final. With these suggestions, I hope this listener and anyone else experiencing a similar situation will find the help and hope needed to overcome financial abuse.

Resources Mentioned:

• Episode 119: “Financial Peace in Your Marriage” with Austin Black
• Episode 137: “What is Financial Infidelity?” with Chad Willardson
• Get Your FREE Ultimate Couples Checklist: 5 Simple Steps to Build More Intimacy

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