Burnout of the Busy Wife: When Giving Too Much = Loving Less

Are you a wife who feels overwhelmed and exhausted? If you’re a busy woman trying to juggle multiple roles, you’re not alone. In this episode, we dive deep into the burnout epidemic affecting many women (especially wives) today. In “Burnout of the Busy Wife,” I share my personal journey and provide invaluable insights on how to detect and combat burnout effectively. Let’s unpack the differences between stress and burnout. I not only share personal experiences but also provide actionable steps to combat burnout, particularly among wives and working women.

Recognizing the Signs of Burnout 

Before diving into solutions, it’s crucial to differentiate between burnout and stress. Stress is often a temporary reaction to pressures, deadlines, or challenges. It can manifest as feeling keyed up or agitated, but typically resolves once the stressor is removed. Burnout, however, is a state of persistent fatigue and emotional exhaustion, where even rest doesn’t seem to help.

Think of burnout as chronic tiredness, emotional exhaustion, resentment towards loved ones and work, and neglect of personal health and self-care. It isn’t just being tired; it’s a deep-seated exhaustion that seeps into every part of life, impacting personal relationships, spiritual life, and overall well-being.

Think about your current stage of life and see if you can detect signs that might indicate burnout is creeping in. Feeling apathetic in personal relationships or spirituality, experiencing chronic tiredness, and feeling resentment towards responsibilities or loved ones are all red flags. These signs suggest an urgent need to pause, reflect, and make necessary life adjustments.

Steps to Address Burnout

Confronting burnout head-on is paramount. Ignoring these feelings, hoping they’ll dissipate on their own, isn’t the answer. Let me offer some practical insights:

1. Character Over Deeds:  We can draw from the allegory of the Proverbs 31 woman to see the importance of understanding our worth as intrinsic rather than defined by accomplishments. This mindset shift can liberate women from the pressures of doing it all.

2. Creating Margin: I share my personal experiences of lacking margin in my life and the relief I felt after setting boundaries. Having margin means creating extra time and space to breathe, reflect, and rejuvenate, which can significantly reduce feelings of overwhelm.

3. Setting Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries with work, family, and social obligations is vital in managing burnout. I advise taking inventory of all responsibilities—no matter how small—and determining which tasks can be scaled back or delegated.

Personal Reflections Of  Burnout in Marriage

I experienced my own story of burnout several years ago. Like many wives, I was juggling multiple roles—from working and studying to parenting—while still trying to maintain my marriage. My husband, Shaun, working six jobs, added to the fatigue and strain on our relationship. Despite regular date nights, burnout eroded the quality of our time together. Something had to give. 

The societal expectation to “do it all” is particularly potent for women, compounded by generational beliefs. This is why we must recognize these pressures and choose sustainable paths instead like the following:

Overcome Burnout in Community

Rediscovering Rest

One particularly powerful practice I highlight is observing a weekly Sabbath. By intentionally resting, I have found a renewed sense of peace and joy. Rest is not a luxury but a necessity, and finding ways to integrate it into weekly routines can significantly alleviate burnout.

Building Support Systems

We all need strong support systems! My Thrive Wives community aims to provide connections and resources for overwhelmed and frustrated wives. I coach on how to have an open dialogue with your husband about dividing responsibilities and how crucial it is for them to actively support their wives.

There are also the potential benefits of seeking external help. Hiring cleaning services or arranging playdates can provide valuable personal time and ease the pressure on busy wives.

Communication and Partnership

A central theme in this episode is partnership in marriage. I will continue to encourage couples to openly communicate about feelings of overwhelm and to collaboratively find solutions that balance responsibilities and lessen individual burdens.

For husbands, regularly checking in on their wives’ emotional well-being and stepping in to share more household duties can make a tremendous difference. Offering practical gestures, like a weekend getaway or taking on extra responsibilities, can be significant in managing burnout.

Delegating and Letting Go

Delegating tasks isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a way to achieve mental relief and focus on what truly matters. Who in your life can assist with specific tasks? If you’re afraid to ask for help, it’s time to address any fears that may arise from asking for help.I recall a time when I had to accept help from a friend at a speaking event, underscoring the empowerment that comes from acknowledging my own limits and willingly accepting assistance.

Final Encouragement

To the wives feeling the weight of the world, please hear me loud and clear: You don’t have to carry it all alone! Implementing strategies and systems to create boundaries, seeking and accepting help, and shifting perspectives on personal worth are vital steps to reclaiming joy and contentment.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Join our Thrive Wives group coaching today!

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