5 Surprising Reasons Your Relationship Is Stuck

Do you ever feel like your relationship is running on a treadmill? Moving, but not really getting anywhere? It’s a common concern, whether it’s in a marriage, a long-standing friendship, or a new romantic relationship. Sometimes, the stagnation can make you question the viability of your connection. But don’t worry—your relationship isn’t doomed. In fact, every relationship experiences hills, valleys, peaks, and stop points. In this episode, we’ll explore five reasons your relationship is stuck. We’re also going to dive deep into actionable steps you can take to get things moving again.

Reason 1: Unspoken Expectations

Unspoken expectations are a breeding ground for disappointment and dissatisfaction. We all have expectations in our relationships, but sometimes we don’t even realize what they are, let alone communicate them to our partners.

Solution:

First, introspect to understand your expectations. Ask yourself: Are these expectations fair, realistic, and appropriate? For example, expecting your friend to call you every day or your spouse to initiate sex multiple times a week might not be reasonable. Once you’ve established that your expectations are fair, communicate them clearly and constructively. Have an open dialogue where you also invite your partner to share their expectations.

Reason 2: You’ve Grown and Your Partner Hasn’t

Growth is a natural part of life and relationships, but it often doesn’t happen at the same pace for everyone. This can lead to a disconnect that, if not addressed, leaves one partner feeling left behind.

Solution:

Proactively engage in activities that promote mutual growth. Read books together, attend workshops and conferences, or take on new challenges as a pair. If you’re already experiencing a disparity in growth, sit down and identify one common goal to work on together. Whether it’s fitness, financial planning, or spiritual growth, make sure you are both on board and equally committed to this shared objective.

Reason 3: Changed Needs and Desires

Over time, our needs and desires change. Maybe you wanted a child-free life, but now you’re contemplating parenthood. Or perhaps your partner has developed a new interest that doesn’t include you.

Solution:

It’s crucial to communicate your changing needs and desires to your partner. However, shift your focus from “What do I need?” to “What does my partner need, and how can I meet those needs?” The principle of giving and receiving applies here; by focusing on meeting your partner’s needs, you might find that your own needs start to be met as well.

Reason 4: Looking Over the Fence

Comparison is the thief of joy. Whether you’re comparing your relationship to those of friends, celebrities, or even to your own past experiences, this constant evaluation can leave you feeling unsatisfied and stuck.

Solution:

Stop comparing and start appreciating what you have. If you find yourself nostalgic for the “good old days,” it might be beneficial to bring back some of those positive practices into your present relationship. Always look forward and work towards making your relationship better, rather than dwelling on what you think it lacks.

Reason 5: Lack of Vision

Without a clear vision, it’s easy to drift apart. A vision gives direction and purpose to a relationship. Without it, your relationship could feel purposeless and thereby stuck.

Solution:

Create a vision plan together. The Bible says, “Without a vision, the people cast off restraint” (Proverbs 29:18). This applies to marriages, friendships, or any kind of relationship. What do you want to achieve as a unit? Set both short-term and long-term goals. This gives you a north star that keeps you on course and energized about your shared future.

Putting It Into Action

Feeling stuck in your relationship is just a temporary phase, but getting out of it requires action. Here are some practical steps to apply immediately:

1. Communicate Expectations:

– Set a time to talk about what you each expect from the relationship.

– Make sure the environment is conducive to a non-confrontational conversation.

– Be prepared to listen as much as you speak.

2. Grow Together:

– Pick a book you both want to read and discuss it weekly.

– Attend a workshop or seminar on a topic that interests both of you.

– Work on a project together, such as home improvement or learning a new skill.

3. Focus Outward:

– Shift your mindset from “me” to “we.”

– Plan a small surprise for your partner that shows you understand their needs.

– Do something selfless each day for your partner or friend.

4. Stop Comparing:

– Limit time on social media if you find it’s a trigger.

– Make a list of things you are grateful for in your relationship.

– Create new traditions rather than reminiscing about old ones.

5. Create a Vision Plan:

– Sit down and list out your short-term and long-term goals together.

– Create a vision board with images and notes that represent your shared future.

– Review your vision regularly to keep both of you aligned and focused.

Being stuck in your relationship doesn’t mean your relationship is failing; it’s a signal that something needs adjustment. By focusing on communication, mutual growth, selflessness, realistic comparisons, and shared vision, you can rebuild and restore your relationship and make it stronger than ever.