Is Your Marriage an Idol?
Most Christian couples would never think of their spouse or their marriage as an idol. But chances are good that that is exactly what happens in many relationships. On this episode we define what idolatry is in our modern world and how we easily fall into it. What is idolatry in the context of marriage? What are the dangers of making marriage an idol and how do you destroy the idol without destroying the relationship?
We started by discussing how idolatry isn’t just about worshipping physical idols, but also about placing undue importance on various aspects of life, including marriage, fame, celebrity, power, and even food. I shared how my husband and I faced the challenges of rebuilding our marriage after betrayal and conflict. I did not realize at the time that I had made my husband an idol. But whenever our marriage had a downturn, I’d fall apart. Quickly, I witnessed my marriage fall apart as a result. This set the stage for a deeper exploration of the pitfalls of placing marriage at an unhealthy level of importance in life.
How to Stop Making Your Spouse Your Idol
There are four tips to help destroy the idols in your life, specifically if you’ve made your spouse your idol:
- Understand and address unmet needs. Unmet needs can make you vulnerable to unhealthy attachments. This is how many affairs start. Do you recognize your triggers and your unmet needs? What are healthier ways to get those needs met that don’t involve running to your spouse as the first resort?
- Be honest about where you’ve placed idols. We have all fallen short and placed idols in our lives at some point. Be honest about the “who” and “what,” and repent for the areas you’ve allowed people and things to take the place of God.
- Put up barriers or distractions to prevent unhealthy attachment. You cannot and should not destroy your marriage or relationship because you’ve made it an idol. However, I encouraged listeners to reflect and seek God’s presence to address any idols in their lives and to have faith in God’s constancy.
- Put God back in His rightful place. Once you tear down the idol or put space between how you would normally get your needs met and how you should go to God to meet your needs, it’s time to put God back in first place. Technically, this should be number one, because he should always be number one, not complete reliance on another person.
We also discussed the parallels between idolatry and adultery, highlighting the tendency we have, as humans, to fulfill our needs outside of God when impatient or waiting for too long. I drew from the story of the people of Israel in the book of Exodus to illustrate the dangers of desiring the blessings more than the blesser. I also talked about the temptation to worship relationships and the risks associated with solely consuming thoughts and needs with a spouse.
Throughout the episode, I emphasize the need to seek God to meet all needs and to avoid deriving worth and value solely from human relationships. It is so important not to forget your relationship with God, especially in successful times. Be forewarned against having a transactional relationship with God, where you only seek Him when needs arise and neglect the relationship once those needs are met.
Links Mentioned in the Show
To listen to a sermon I preached on “Idols in Disguise,” click here.
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