Are you ready to transform conflict in your marriage and cultivate a deeper partnership? I sat down with special guest David Haastrup, host of the Reconnected Marriage Partners Podcast, for his take on increasing emotional awareness/regulation and the CALM method for handling conflict.
We both share honest stories from our own marriages, including how our different upbringings shaped our expectations and how teamwork and partnership are essential for Christian couples. David dives into practical strategies for emotional regulation, self-awareness, and what it really means to “catch the moment” before things get heated.
We also explore why the early years of marriage can be so challenging and how his book, “A Couple’s First 10 Years,” can help you thrive when life throws curveballs—like cross-country moves, health crises, and raising young kids.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same old conflict cycle, or want to uncover what’s really beneath surface-level arguments, you don’t want to miss this conversation.
Key Takeaways: A CALM Approach to Conflict
Conflict is inevitable, but chaos doesn’t have to be. David introduced his practical CALM Method for handling disagreements with empathy and intention:
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Catch the moment – Develop self-awareness to recognize turning points in a conflict.
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Allow the pause – Take a breather before responding to diffuse tension.
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Lower the intensity – Use gentle words and reframe your approach to prevent escalation.
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Move toward understanding – Focus on truly hearing your partner, not just winning the argument.
This episode is full of actionable advice and personal stories about how this framework makes a difference, even when emotions run high and the household clashes (like those endless debates over the dishes!), plus more tips on emotional regulation.
Resources Mentioned in this Episode:
Struggling in your early years of marriage or want to support friends who are? David’s new book,A Couple’s First 10 Years, might be just the read you need.
Also, check out his free online webinar: “How to Stop the Argument Before It Starts” and the Reconnected Marriages Partners Podcast here.
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