Rebuilding Us marriage podcast

122: The Dating Playbook for Christian Singles – with Kait Tomlin

The Dating Playbook for Christian Singles – with Kait Tomlin

If you’ve been feeling a little lost in the dating scene, this episode will provide you with the Christian dating playbook you’ve been seeking. Kait Tomlin is a dating expert, author, wife, and Christian follower who has turned her pitfalls into passion through forming her own Christian dating playbook. Kait has had her fair share of dating tragedies that she learned to turn into her purpose. Her mission is to help other Christian singles find the love that they so ever desire. Through her work, she teaches individuals to date with integrity while being open to receiving the gifts that God may reveal. 

 

The Hookup Culture

Over the last 100 years, the dating culture has changed significantly. With emerging technology, negative impacts from media, and decision fatigue, it surprisingly makes it more difficult to find that special person for you. The dating norm has gone from courting a lady, to finding someone at the bar and hooking up. This cannot be the right path, people! This is not the best way to do it. Kait said, “Media has really infiltrated how we view relationships, dating, connection, and the process to get there.” The Christian dating playbook can teach you to step outside of what you see in the media, and lead from the love of God to find your person. 

 

Finding a Good Christian Husband

Many Christian women find it so hard to find a good Christian man. Kait said, “The reality is that they [men] are not everywhere, but you have to be open that they do exist.” If you allow the bad guys out there to dictate that all men are like that, you will totally miss the good ones. A key piece in the Christian dating playbook is to date the unexpected. We have a giant list of preferences that could be holding us back from finding our perfect person. The key here is to remain open. Preferences often become non-negotiables which can seriously limit the dating pool. When you shift your perspective and focus on core character qualities, rather than preferences, you will see more potential possibilities in dating. 

 

Rejection Is Redirection

Kait had to go through the struggle herself, to birth The Heart of Dating. Through her rejection, she was able to discover her purpose to help singles find the true love of their life and in themselves. When Kait was blindsided by her ex no longer wanting to marry her, she was shattered. It forced her on a journey to rediscover who she was along with her identity as a Christian woman. When rejection hits, it allows us to go within and ask ourselves deep questions about ourselves. Rejection is part of the equation. It’s possible to feel rejection, but also feel loved and worthy at the same time.

 

The Dating Playbook But First Single and Content

The narrative has always been so focused on getting married, having kids, and living happily ever after. That scenario is not always the case for everyone. It’s important to remain content in your singleness and enjoying the gifts that it brings. There is such beauty in spending time alone, learning about yourself, and growing into the best version of you. Remembering that single is a season of your life that is all about you. When we see this time as a gift, it allows us to appreciate what we have. The Christian dating playbook teaches you to also enjoy your singleness, while you prepare for the person God has for you.

 

Links Mentioned in this Episode

Thank You For Rejecting Me

Heart of Dating

 

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DANA CHE

certified relationship and marriage coach

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