I Hate My Teenage Daughter
Hey, those are her words, not mine. I received an email from a frustrated mom who in a nutshell said, “I hate my teenage daughter.” Truthfully, many parents of teenagers feel this way from time to time. This woman was just honest enough to admit it. Being the parent of a teenager myself, I know how stressful it can be when two opposing wills meet face to face in the boxing ring: the teenager’s is committed to win and yours is committed to not allowing that to happen. At all Costs!
An argument breaks out, words are said, doors slam, maybe even tears. Things get real messy. You find yourself thinking, I hate my teenage daughter (son)! Whatever happened to the little tot who followed me around the house, competing for all my time and attention and wanting me to play with all his/her friends? Where did it all go wrong?!
Listen. Nothing’s wrong. Really. This is supposed to happen. Your teenager is simply trying to express his/her own independence and you’re getting in the way! Take a seat. Take a deep breath. Put the bat down. Now take another breath and close your eyes. Take a trip back in the day to your own teenage years. What was the #1 thing you wanted from your parents? Most likely it was FREEDOM. You wanted to be free to make your own choices . . . and your own mistakes. Freedom to come and go as you pleased. Freedom to chose your own friends. Sound familiar?
Interestingly, when we become parents, we sometimes forget our kids are just like us! “No, no Dana!” you say, “My child is nothing like me!” I didn’t __________. And I didn’t __________. And when I got mad at my parents I would never ___________!
I know, I know. I’ve said the same things. Maybe your approach was different, but you likely wanted the very thing your teenager craves now. Take my advice in the video to heart. Try some of those tactics and let me know how they work. And when you lose your temper, forgive yourself. Hit that reset button and start over.
To “Stressed Out Mom in Fayetteville, I hear you! I really do. I get it. From one mom to the next, we’re gonna make it! Because the last time I checked, the leading cause of death among women isn’t teenage drama. Even when you feel like saying, “I hate my teenage daughter!”, I know you really love her. This is just a season. It will pass.