Can You Love Two People at the Same Time?
Over the weekend I came across an article that asked, “Can you love two people at the same time?” The article was in reference to R&B singer Chris Brown’s recent confession that he might just love two people (his ex-girlfriend, Rihanna, and current-now-ex girlfriend, Karrueche Tran) at the same time. Huh? Now, I know this question has been debated throughout the ages, but I felt compelled to talk about it in a video and on this blog.
What is Love?
Like so many other things, love is a term that has been muddled, watered down and redefined in recent years. Biblically speaking, we know that according to I Corinthians 13, love is patient, kind, unselfish, gentle, forgiving, not jealous, humble, not irritable, “unscheming,” hopeful and enduring (the Dana Che version :-)). Nowadays, when people ask can you love two people at the same time, they are mostly referring to love’s evil twin: lust.
What is Lust?
Most of us liken lust to sex. Although “an intense sexual desire or appetite” is one of Dictionary.com’s definitions for lust, lust is also defined as “pleasure or delight, a zest or ardent enthusiasm.” Picture it: boy meets girl. Girl is beautiful and flashes him a sweet smile. Boy “falls in love at first sight.” Boy claims he is now in love because he has been dating Girl for two weeks.
So this is what we’re teaching our kids about love?! Most new relationships start off in the “honeymoon phase.” Frequent butterfly sensations when your significant other comes to mind, wandering thoughts about your lover and an overwhelming feeling of fulfillment usually accompany the new relationship. But love is not feelings. Love is action.
How Can You Love Two People at the Same Time?
Love is trust. Love is commitment. Love doesn’t hurt or wound or think of itself. Love covers. Protects. Defends. Love never fails. So if Chris Brown really loved Karrueche, he would’ve kept his feelings of lust for Rhianna at bay. He would not have entertained her or hung out with her knowing he still had a strong attraction to her. He does not truly love either girl. He loves himself. And it is evident by him giving Karrueche the boot that his love was at best temporal.
I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I totally reject the notion that you can love two people at the same time, because love, in the essence of its definition, is exclusive.
Off my soapbox now! Now we return to our regularly scheduled broadcast . . .
What do you think? Can you love two people at the same time? Please share your comments below.